confession with a little broken heart~

today.. nak buat confession sikit... keep it as a secret between u and me okkkaayyy~~

how to put this into words...
Bismilahirahmanirahim....
lets begin. aku rasa sekarang ni i should pour some fresh water to my face.. to WAKE my self up...aku rasa aku sekarag ni tak pernah sedar diri... tak pernah thankful..
i think for everything.
1) tak pernah sedar diri ni tak seberapa tadi having some kind of that 'lovey dovey' feelings towards someone yang dont even suits me even in my dream.. how pathetic is hat??! kenapa nak kena ada perasaan tu toward them and then at the end of the day aku sendiri yangrase hurt with no REASONS at all.. weird kan??! memang pon... first is "jumper"... sangat sakit hati tapi dier bukan ada pape pon ngan aku... he's not even put a glance on me... jauh sekali jadi kawan... so kenapa nak rase sakit hati.. aduhhh!
n the other guy... feeling the same thing... at least not for "iron man" sebab aku tak taw lagi yang dier suka sesape or does he have any special GF or not kan.. sbb tu tak rase sakit hati lagi ngan "iron man" ^^"
aku mmg seorang yg pathetic!
2) never be thankful to what i have up until now... aku rse banyak da benda aku termiss.. yang nie biar aku jer yg taw... no one should know besides of me...
3)i choose friends.. aku baru sedar yang aku sangat memilih kawan lelaki... sbb maybe im not looking for friends which cause problem no 1(yang kat atas tu)... im looking for someone yang takder kekurangan in myself...means--im looking for someone yang aku rse fizikal-ly opposite of me~(u dont have to understand this part) tapi kan bukan ke Allah cipta pasangan yang akan melengkapkan kita(farahin... u being that girl again....) ya... bukan Allah cipta pasangan yg secara FIZIKAL nya akan melengkapkan kita.. tapi dari segi emosi.. karakter dan jiwa...bahasa inggeris pun guna words SOULMATE kan.. means mate yang serasi dengan soul kite... ader ker yang panggil FIZIKALMATE??? aiyyaakkk!!! tu memang sekadar puas nafsu namanya.... :) ;)
look...i need to be more realistic! IM LEARNING! but i need a 'guru'.. someone please help me~

learn from your mistakes farahin. u will not get what u always wanted.
that is LIFE! BE SURREAL!
^^'